18
Jan 10

goal one

I have two goals set for the coming year.

Luckily, neither of the goals was to describe the goals on this blog immediately after the changing of the year!

Never before have I gazed down the barrel of an approaching year and felt any kind of pressure to express who I would like to be if and when I gaze down another approaching barrel.  One thing I know is that sometime in the time that we call 2009, a transformation that has been ongoing for literally several years kicked into high gear and, consequently, I’ve been seeing the world and my interaction with in in a completely new light.

Perhaps it was senility setting in.  Perhaps it was the New Year’s cheer.

For some reason I’ve set goals for 2010.

Today, let me describe goal 1.

My first thought for my first goal of 2010 was this: Learn Spanish.  Now, after thinking through this a little, I quickly realized that I was setting myself up for certain disaster.  It’s simply too broad.  I’m 30 and I haven’t learned all of my own language yet.  I can’t conceivably learn Spanish.

It’s much like the beauty pageant contestant wanting “world peace.”  I’m not qualified to be a beauty pageant contestant.  Therefore, like, I shouldn’t have a goal that sounds, you know, like one, er whatever.

As I began to process through why I even wanted to learn Spanish in the first place. there were a couple of reasons that began to precipitate out of the mix.  I live in a city and state where the spanish-speaking population is increasing each year.  I want to be able to communicate with, work with, and enjoy the company of these new neighbors.  My favorite joint to grab Mexican food (Taqueria Mexico, South Blvd) is one of those “It’s so authentic you almost need to point to the menu” places.  I’m officially a regular there since, during my last trip, the question posed to me was “¿Three tacos?” and not “What would you like?”  I want to communicate with mi familia de Taqueria.

And I have friends in Spain who are trying very hard to learn English.  It’s much the same situation here.  I want to be able to communicate with these friends on a deeper level.

So, after much deliberation, weighing what I actually wanted to do with this language, here’s my first defined goal (maybe of my life, certainly of my 2010)….

By the end of 2010 I want to be able to carry on a basic conversation (about food, the weather, and some current events) in Spanish.

And, hopefully, not have them make fun of my horrible pronunciation!!!

It’s not a profound goal, but it’s a challenging one – especially for someone who’s early childhood education consisted of learning French instead of Spanish.  And I’ve already started the process – between bouncing words off of a few trusted friends and using a free online social system called livemocha.com, I’m out of the gates.

I’ve got six “lessons” complete.

In a few days, I’ll post about goal number 2!


17
Jan 10

favor

It was disgusting and altogether expected when a visible, if not influential, Christian leader this week connected the events of Haiti with a “pact with the Devil” this the country has supposedly made.  The implication here is that the 7.0 magnitude quake that leveled the city of Port-au-Prince was beckoned from the depths of the earth by the people themselves and their actions.  It further implies that because much of the western world enjoys unprecedented wealth our actions mean we have built up enough credit to receive showers of blessing from the banker in the sky.

(For an interesting take on this, see this link from NPR’s Two-Way Blog. NOTE: I don’t agree with 100% of the contents of the post at this link, but find the concept incredibly relevant.  Donald Miller has also written a response to the aforementioned comments at his blog.)

This concept – that God reinforces good behavior and punishes bad – is deeply damaging to people and to faith.

On the one hand, you have people who begin to subconsciously view themselves on a level akin to rats in a lab.

In college, I had one such rat, named Gilligan.  My goal for him was to increase a behavior (namely, pressing a button in his cage) by using positive reinforcement (i.e. small pellets of food).  The progression was interesting to watch. Once he discovered the button, and began to press it, it was important to reward his behavior every time – this “charged” the button and let little Gilligan know that if He was faithful in pressing, the Button would be faithful and deliver food from the pellet chute in the sky.

If you’ve never read anything on this, you may think that this approach would be the most effective at achieving an increase in a behavior.  Interestingly enough, once the Button was “charged” what really cranked up Gilligan’s Button-zeal was when we switched to an uncertain, variable reward system.  Now instead of getting a ration every time, Gilligan had to wait on the Button’s judgement (aka the software that determined if “now was the time for chow”).  This transformed my little rat from casual worshipper to religious radical.

I imagine him crying out when his prayers did not solicit a reward, “Button, why have you forsaken me, Button?” or “”What have I done to deserve this?  I have no food with which to satisfy my hunger” or “squeaky squeak squeak squeaketh” (untranslated, due to use of explicit language).

When we make God’s providence or punishment contingent on our day to day behaviors, we are engaging a most primitive component of our existence.  We had developed wiring like this to increase our survival skills thousands and thousands of years ago.  And while it’s still useful when studying rats and pigeons, our abilities to reason, decipher, and decide should probably take more of a leading role.

Otherwise, we begin to develop a deep-seeded sense of entitlement; that we deserve to be rewarded for the good work that we’ve done.  The work itself, the satisfaction of helping others, the benefits inherent in a job well done will not be enough.  We do good, we expect good to be done to us.  We expect blessing. Frankly, we expect money, and vehicles, and houses and trips and health. If all good things come from heaven above then we start to wonder why our good would not be rewarded while others have so much.

This view is unhealthy and yet seems to be rampant in communities of faith.

Often, I hear (more realistically, I read on Facebook) people say things like, “I know that if I do this (e.g. pray faithfully, read the Bible, love people), then God will provide for my needs.” There is an incredibly sarcastic (though incredibly funny) side of me that wants to say in response, “I know that if you don’t, God will still provide for your needs.”

For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.
Matthew 5:45

In Button world, church and faith become about a series of behaviors that are reinforced when we, usually mistakenly, connect them with reward-”gifts” from above.  These gifts can be any kind of reinforcement, from money to a “feeling” to a sense of God’s “presence”.  We act to get rewarded.  We act to avoid punishment.  The reasons are steeped in selfishness.  Our attempts to represent selfless love and compassion are voided – they become transactional instead of transformational.  Instead of being an extension of God showing relentless love in all circumstances, we become a relentless prospector showing love to others when our investments show promising returns for ourselves.

Button faith attracts the “worst” of the faithful (those who are “in it for themselves”) and the “best” of the critics (those who say “you don’t do anything without it being selfish”). It introduces handcuffs and restraints to lives intended to be lived free.

One thing is for certain: the people of Haiti did not call destruction on themselves.  We can choose to make this disaster about us, attempting to carve out our own rewared, or about helping people because it’s the right thing to do.  Be the extension of God’s unselfish love.  Make unconditional love truly unconditional.

Pray for the people of Haiti, and those that are there to provide some sort of relief.  The scale of this tragedy is unimaginable.  There are stories that can never be told. Support them by providing relief agencies with the money they need to rebuild Haiti.


13
Jan 10

equitas

I’ve recently been asked to contribute some posts to the “equitas blog” – equitas is a local non-profit that “provides resources for people groups in developing nations to assist them in becoming sustainable communities.”  During this past year, that resourcing has taken the form of providing money for water wells and education.  There are some compelling stories on the blog and the equitas website. You’ll also find lots of information on the current projects and ways that you can help.

That said, I’ve posted my first post at http://equitasblog.wordpress.com.  It’s entitled “justice” – please check it out.


10
Jan 10

10

“The church is always looking for money.” Am I right?

Recently, I was asked about my thoughts on tithing – which I’m defining here as the religious principle of setting aside ten percent of your productivity (i.e. most often, money) to give to the church.  If you’re a regular church-goer, you’ve probably heard sermons on this topic – probably a couple of times a year.  If you’re not a church-goer, this may be a reason why – because they’re always wanting more money.  While I don’t necessarily love to write about things like this, hopefully this will serve a couple of goals: 1. I get more writing practice in, and 2. we can look at some broader concepts here.  Plus it’s the first “10th” of 2010 – so it’s ironically fitting that a non-religious Christian would be writing about this today . . . at least in my mind.

It’s important to recognize tithing is an old concept from times when productivity was most often measured in commodities and not in profits or money or stocks.  Farmers would give a tenth of their crops to the “people of God” via the high-priests.  Ranchers would give a tenth of their calves.  This was a trend that continued across all “professions” for generations and generations.

It’s also important to remember that these people were “obligated” by law on a number of different fronts – not just giving their tithes.  There were rituals and laws and obligatory behaviors for almost everything.  They were highly regulated – throughout the Old Testament and up to Jesus appearance on the scene, which we’ll get to in a moment.  And one final point – tithing is not exclusive to the Judeo-Christian world: Babylonian texts talk about it; Sikhism talks about it; one of the five pillars of Islam is alms giving in which a fixed percentage of wealth is given to charity.

So for thousands of years people understood that they were required to give ten percent, regardless of sunshine or rain or war or drought or famine, of what they produced both for the greater good of the people and as an element of their worship.  There were punishments for not holding to this rule.  It’s easy to imagine that there was guilt and anxiety associated with this.  Like so many other things, it was “required” behavior.

The law served as an interesting construct in daily lives.  We know about the Ten Commandments – there’s a movie about that, I hear.  We know of the laws about stoning people who let their beards grow beyond 17 cubits and do not groom themselves with the brush formed of the bones of a 3 year old steer and the hair of a purple boar (fact check: this may not actually be a law, per se).  There were a lot of them, but they regulated daily life, especially when you consider the road rage of walking downwind of hundreds and thousands of people and donkeys and cattle in desert-level heat without a rest-stop in sight.  The amount of “stuff” alone would have to have been over-whelming.  You would step in “stuff”.  You would have smelled “stuff”. “Stuff” happens and so there were laws about everything, including “stuff” and the things that being surrounded by “stuff” would make you want to do to your neighbor.

Moving on.

Jesus shows up, amid a time of religiosity and occupation by a foreign army,  and sets a milestone in the course of history as it relates how people express their faith.  By this time, law was king.  Teachers had added their own interpretations of the hundreds of rules people already had to live by if they wanted to be in with God.  Systemic, punishing reprimand was the norm.  What Jesus ushered in was grace-filled, loving, thoughtful, peaceful freedom.

Essentially, His message was this – these laws were in place for a reason.  But, we’ve taken it to the extreme.  Humans (e.g. the Pharisees) have hijacked the system and made it about them and made it worse.  What God wanted to do was foster a sense of right and wrong towards each other.  What people have done is to require mindless obedience to nonsensical amendments.  It’s not about the law.  It’s about your heart.  It’s about the intentions with which you act.  It’s about the generosity of your spirit.  It’s about seeing a need and filling it.  It’s about knowing that when you do it for the prisoner or the poor or the proselytizer, you do it to me.  Not just on my behalf, but to me.  When you see the widow give what little she has out of her compassion that’s worth immeasurably more than the religious man who gives thousands of dollars out fo obligation.

As far as we know the first century church, alive the novelty of “no more rules” didn’t begin hoarding and taxing and running capital campaigns to build larger sanctuaries and nicer facilities.  Interestingly enough, they gave freely.  They sold all their belongings and gave to the poor.  All is well above 10%.  Even most is well above 10%.  When the “tenth” guideline was removed, the early church became more generous.  If we believe biblical history, we can assume this means that more people were having their basic needs met.  More widows and orphans and lepers and the unloved were being loved on.  The intention behind why the law was created had been transferred to the intentions of the hearts of individuals.  The wave of love that was unleashed must have been enormous.

What is aggravating to me is that shortly (in epic terms) after this incredible revolution our churches revert to rules that induce guilt rather than cultivating individual compassion.  Within a few hundred years, the church began instituting rules to ensure that the needs of their clergy were met.  From the earliest of days we can see how the church can ruin a good thing like a well-intending Christian.

Giving is not motivated by guilt and obligation.  It’s hand-cuffed by it.  Jesus understood this.  The early church understood this. They by-passed institutions and establishments with their administrative costs and value-adds and gave lavishly of what they had and who they were directly to those that needed. Why we believed then and believe now that an institution was necessary is evermore beyond my understanding.

If you are a part of a church community like I am, you should fund it’s operation.  You should realize that “tithing” to a church means that you’re not tithing to eradicate need in your community, to feed the widows and orphans, to clothe the naked, to visit the prisoner.  A portion decided by your leaders will be directed to ministries like these, but you are also funding the purchase of equipment, the paying of salaries, the printing of programs, the transportation of guests, etc.  If we choose big, expensive churches, with expanding campuses, high-tech production equipment, and comfortable theatre seating up-grades, we have to be prepared to pay more.  It’s like choosing a Benz over a Ford over a Kia over a Vespa.

I have been taught that we are to “tithe” to our church to meet these needs and if we are so compelled to give beyond this “tenth” to our surrounding community as we see fit.

I believe the teaching of Jesus turns this on its head.  We are to give generously and lavishly to meet the needs that we encounter – whether that’s homeless men needing food or shelter, families needing basic necessities for life at Christmas, children needing clothing, prisoners needing friends.  We are to give from our hearts, motivated by love, compassion, or whatever emotions compel us to eradicate hunger and disease and anxiety and loneliness and pain.

Our churches are best viewed as a luxury as it relates to our faith.  They are not necessary.  They are places that we choose in the same way that we shop for a vehicle.  It’s a matter of preference: do they have comfortable seats, a kicking sound system, a powerful engine, and a smooth ride?  But they have to be in our budget as well.

I will purposefully choose simplicity.  I will purposefully choose a community with lower administrative costs that echoes these thoughts – of giving lavishly from what they have as a church to meet the needs of those around them from an institutional level.  But I will not rely on them to know my heart or to act on my behalf, and I will not be handcuffed by the guilt of not meeting my 10% quota to fund the church.

There is nothing in me that wants to live restrained under the law of the Pharisees or the law of the church.  I choose to live free of the guilt of having only paid 8.2% this month and wondering if I need to make up the difference.  I choose to find and meet needs.

I choose grace.


06
Jan 10

redemption

Redemption gets me every time.

Behind my obviously gruff exterior is a soft-hearted man who would cry at the drop of a hat and its subsequent return to its rightful owner. There is something about redemption and restoration and encouragement that clutches my heart and simply will not let it go before ensuring that my eyes well up and that I have to sniff back tears.

I don’t mind admitting this. I’m not a proud man.

It speaks to a sense of belonging to an inclusive human family as well as a belief that we can live counter to the entropy of the universe. We tend towards chaos. But we neither belong there nor do we have to remain there.

We’re told that God wants whats best for us and has a plan for us. I believe that there is a ‘right’ way for us to live as individuals and as a collective. While I don’t believe that the Creator has packed our calendars full of events and appointments, tasks that we are to complete save eternity hangs in the balance, I think it’s appropriate to say that God would have us live in such a way that we both actively and passively find opportunities to make life better. Simple things. Ambitious things. Things that are a doomed to fail. Things that are overnight sensations.

These things shift our trajectory away from the chaos. They give us purpose and direction in more than one sense of those words. It was the grand intention of God not that I would give a homeless man a sandwich on Aug 17 at 2:34pm but simply that we would live with kindness, generosity, understanding, integrity, and a designed desire to crave justice for our fellow creatures.

It’s these things that make miniscule corrections to our path – a state of perfect redemption approached by the assimilation of millions and billions of unnoticed acts.

There are aspects of my life that I’m not prepared to share on my blog, and so it makes this next bit much less dramatic. But, for a brief moment in time I was able to zoom out and get a wide-angle shot of my life and realized that there is a redemption that’s been happening all along, a restoration, a return to how things should be and how I want them to be. It’s millions of little things that are coalescing into a beautiful work of redemptive art.

And that may make me well up, just a little bit.


28
Dec 09

too soon

On Boxing Day, a Saturday this year, Kristy and I headed out to reclaim a long-lost tradition of ours: boxing day skating.  We were unaware of the fact that just 3 miles from our apartment is the Pineville Ice House where they offer public skating year round!  To get there, we had to pass through a major commercial area in South Charlotte – shopping malls, lots of big-box stores, etc.

As we passed through what most uphold as a modern-day, mini Mecca, my heart hurt a little.

I understand that we live in a consumer driven economy and very smart people imply that this is a good thing and that I should be thankful.  I understand that a byproduct of this economy is that we have to put up with long lines at shopping malls and traffic jams entering the parking lot and several lanes of pavement in some parts of town.  And, I understand that having all of these buildings closed for one day (i.e. December 25).

But I couldn’t help but be a little sad that thousands of people were flocking back to Mecca after being banned from there for an entire 24 hours.  These worshippers were unsatisfied with the blessing they’d received just days before and made the pilgrimage back to the holy land in search of something, anything, more.

Are we really so desperate?

It could certainly be that I’m reading far too much into this situation and over-dramatizing a completely benign situation.  I’ve been convicted of similar crimes in the past and have yet to be reformed.  However, the unquenched longing that is represented by these traffic jams and gift receipts and incidents of road rage is altogether depressing to me.  I’m a different person than I used to be, granted, and the prospect of a “cheap” 42″ television would have perhaps called me to a great pilgrimage of my own.

So I am in no position to condemn….

I can simply say this.

This year was the simplest (read: fewest gifts under the tree, fewest days spent on the battlefield of the mall) Christmas that we have ever had. It’s also been THE most rewarding by far.  It’s freeing.  It’s enabled us to be compassionate and generous in other ways – not new ways, simply ways that had been concealed by our own selfishness in the past.

What would it look like for your family to try this?  Plan for Christmas in much the same way – save money, clear the credit card, however you handle Christmas, but instead of trying to outdo the annually-increasing precedents you’ve set for yourself, commit to buying one gift (at the most!) for your immediate family members.  Take the same resources and funnel them towards a family who may have nothing – buy them food, or gas for their car, or presents for their kids, or sheets for their bed.  Try it.  Just once.  See if it’s not the most rewarding Christmas that you’ve ever had.


25
Dec 09

blessing

If indeed we are created with any resemblance to our creator, Christmas is the season which should most sway our daily pursuits.  It is at Christmas that we see the first creator to created human touch.

It is love birthed into difficulty and pain for the purpose of making bad things better and life worth living.

It is spirit being wrapped in fleshy desires and needs and constraints to teach us how to live unconfined, unsuppressed, un-bottled-up lives.

It is compassion that wants to wildly replicate, without limit or condition.

It is gentleness from the unheralded manger to the uncontested cross.

It is light that neither exposes the darkness, nor conquers the concealed, nor brightes the shadows; it is light that warms, and glows, and pulses with truth like blood through the wrist; it is light with which darkness simply cannot coexist.

May you live with the same gentleness with which Christ entered and existed the created world.  May your compassion not seek renown, or reward, but may it be ultimately transforming for those that live in its wake.  May your spirit burst from the confines of your body and compel others to live as though there are no shackles or chains that could ever contain this life lived with purpose. May your love bring the promises of a far off heaven to the here-and-now earth. And, may your heart radiate a light so pure and strong and compelling that darkness and shadows are forgotten.

This is the gift.  Not the prospects of escaping a wayward humanity with its pain and suffering and questions.  The gift is faith: the faith, so strong, of a creator for His masterpiece to hold ultimate power in their arms, to plot a new course for humanity, and to truly live the unconstrained life.

Merry Christmas.


21
Dec 09

gift

For the past several years now, Kristy and I have not actively given each other gifts at Christmastime.  In fact, except for some of the closest children in our lives, we really haven’t given any one gifts at Christmastime.  And we’ve never really taken the time to explain this odd behavior.

It may equate me with the “Grinch” but Christmas does not do much for me.  In past posts, I’ve alluded to my problems with doing for the sake of doing, free from any rationale.  You may recall my thoughts on church, for example.  This is a quite honest representation of who I am as I person: I need to see the rationale before getting behind something.  There has to be a strategy or a purpose.

To be even more specific, it’s not enough to simply have rationale – it’s not an “as long as you can justify it, I’m in” scenario – obviously, the justification and rationale have to align with my beliefs and morals and personality.

It is at this level that Christmas begins to fall apart for me.

Christmas has become the perpetual out-do-myself game.  It’s on a grand scale so we may not even realize it, but for so many of us, this year has to be bigger than last.  Better parties, blingier gifts, nicer decorations, 1000 more bulbs. I wonder if we haven’t made Christmas into a milestone, some point of reference to gauge our progress (read: net worth) year over year.  Last year I was able to spend $X so this year, if I’ve had a successful year, it stands to reason that I should be able to spend $X + $Y.  If not, we’ve obviously not worked hard enough, long enough, made a big enough impression on the men “upstairs” (either literally or figuratively).  Certainly we give gifts away because it’s what culture and baby Jesus would have us to do, but I wonder if we don’t give in a spirit of self-measurement.

It’s not hard to imagine.  We get a card from someone that’s not on our list and some primal guilty panic sets in.  What is the drive behind it?  Fear that the we’ll “owe” the sender something that will strike the cosmic balance in their favor?  Do we honestly think that the forgotten ones are sitting with a Santa Claus style checklist, cross-referencing every piece of festive fan mail that arrives at their doorstep?  Just because we do it ourselves, doesn’t mean everyone does :)

My argument is that this is reflective of the yearly benchmark that we’ve set for ourselves.  More cards out mean more friends this year over last.  More gifts out means more expendable income this year over last.  Net growth is what we’re really after when we venture out into the wilds that are our bliss acquisition depots (a.k.a. shopping malls).

It’s important to be self-aware and introspective.  I don’t want to devalue those things.  What is off, however, is our tendency to measure worth in financial or material terms.  Sure, we’re constantly bombarded with financial news.  It’s strange to go through a day without encountering a stock ticker or at least some reference to which direction the DOW has been headed lately.  It’s understandable for us to measure ourselves by the tools that we have around us – in much the same way that I still find temperatures in Fahrenheit or distances in miles to be confusing at times.

In previous posts, I’m clear about my position that Christians have ruined the church.  Something similar is true for Christmas.  I don’t want to put this all on the church – only to say that this season has been ruined for me.

The beauty has been the rediscovery.

We haven’t completely disengaged from the season.  There are things that still have value and purpose.  But becoming indebted to financial institutions is not my idea of a good time.  And Christmas is still a milestone for us.  But instead of measuring the ways that we’ve made more money in the past year, or met new people that need to read the latest installment of the Smith saga and receive a picture of us sitting under our tree, we’re able to figure out ways that we can give.  We know we’re not “wealthy” when you compare our checkbooks to those of our neighbors, but it’s a beautiful thing to not be in want.  It’s an amazing place to be.

It frees you to be able to mobilize resources, no matter how meager, to help somebody that’s in need.  So instead of buying stuff, and wrapping it in stuff and packing that in stuff, we’ve been able to give.  Maybe it’s a house up the street or maybe it’s children in a country halfway around the world.  We’ve participated in programs like World Vision and local programs designed to help children and their families nearby.  The year we’re helping build wells in Malawi (http://www.equitas.cc).

And, if you’re busy buying Christmas gifts this year – don’t worry, I’m not at all saying that you’re efforts are in vain and stupid and a waste of resources that could otherwise be used to feed the poor.  There IS great value in gift giving – that’s the way that many, many people express their love.  I’m simply saying that, for my wife and I, we’ve chosen to reroute the resources we have to other things.

So, you’re not getting anything from us this year…. again.  Honestly, it’s not that we don’t like you :)  We like you very much.

Merry Christmas


21
Dec 09

Explanation

The past couple of weeks have been quite hectic and surprising and fun. The biggest deal was that my parents showed up unexpectedly for my 30th birthday which meant we had lots of time to go the the symphony, play golf, and eat, and very little time to blog.

But, now that life has returned to some semblance of normality, so will my postings.


13
Dec 09

back soon

Sorry. I’ve been busy and away. But I’m now less busy and back. I’ll be writing soon.

Peace.